Packing

If I ever, ever made it sound glamorous to travel around the globe with 2 small children just to get home to see family and friends than please forgive me.

Actually, please shoot me.

It is not glamorous.

At all.

It is fucking insane.

Case in point- packing. It’s a total nightmare. I don’t know where to start. It’s not as bad as the days of baby bottles and formula- all the panic of sterile things and warming the milk and making sure I had enough supply so as not to upset baby’s tummy with a new kind of formula. And then there was the sheer quantity- making sure I had a bottle for landing, taking off, a bottle to drink in front of security… Jesus H.

But at least in those days the baby in question slept! No coloring books or DVD players were necessary.

And in those days long haul meant Europe to the US and fuck if it’s not totally absurd- that seems short to me now! Asia is double that! Aaaahhhh! And yes, the boys are older so it helps, but packing has quickly become the bane of my existence.

First off, when you take a plan for say, 24 hours (even if it is broken up) and then you factor in the time difference you have to give yourself many weeks/days to be on holiday (what do they say? a day for every hour of time difference? God knows). And yes, I know plenty of businessmen who fly from Singapore to Houston and back in the same week, but these men are NOT travelling with toddlers, can put on their eye masks and drink their bourbon and read a magazine.

Read a magazine on an airplane? Have I done that before?

So yes, the holiday must be extended. And then you factor in children whose grandparents live in different hemispheres. Cue in more flights, more time differences, more jet lag.

And more baggage!

So 2 months x 2 toddlers x one mum trying to look not like a million bucks but at least presentable and it all goes downhill from here.

I’ve had images (nightmares!) of me in a train station in Tokyo bogged down with heavy duffel bags, a huge carry-on backpack and 2 frantic screaming boys. I have tried to adjust this image in my head and vowed I would try to get everything into 1 bag.

It’s not happening.

Not with 2 months of diabetes supplies (me)- our health insurance won’t cover anything bought in the States, and our travel insurance does not cover diabetes- blah!!!, shoes, clothes, Pull Ups (why oh why could I not potty train M in time?), toys, DVDs, books, swim rings and goggles (the hotels in Hong Kong and Tokyo have pools), presents for the peeps back home, toiletries, sunblock, wet wipes, you name it, I’ve got it.

So the image now includes me (still wearing my flight socks alongside some khaki shorts- tres chic), 2 toddlers, one carry-on backpack, 2 duffel bags paying a taxi driver at Narita to take us to the hotel with all of our shit. Then imagine Jan seeing the bill and having a heart attack right there at the computer.

Happy travels

PS- If you see me on the street anywhere on this trip and think I need a day the spa/shopping spree/makeover- I probably do. So offer to watch my kids and let me go. Then ship me my purchased goods later. Muah.